Things to Ponder

A week ago today the phone call came.   We knew deep down what she was going to say but still we hoped.  We hope we were wrong while knowing there was no other answer.  So the news wasn’t a shock; it was more of a heavy blanket of acceptance that settled over us.  Well, over me at least.  

The final verdict- epilepsy.  

I  let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding; epilepsy.  

Now it has a name; now I can research and move into action.  Now I can figure out what the heck I am supposed to do instead of sitting helplessly watching him suffer.   Research says… take his keys; don’t let him drive; and sit and watch helplessly; oh and try to protect his head.  

So I sit and watch making sure he is in a safe place; making sure his head is protected.  But here’s where it gets really hard… his head is not protected! No matter what I do I can’t protect him.  The battle is inside his brain; a space I can’t enter.  

Epilepsy- this is good news, I thought…  We can handle this, I said… and after a day of seizures; yes they were minor compared to other people with epilepsy; my heart broke. And when they were over and he could finally speak he whispered..

“…my brain is broken…”

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